PUNS

May 9, 2010 at 1:54 pm (PUNS)

The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blown-a-part.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine.

4 Comments

  1. john edwards said,

    cute!!!!!!!!

  2. Alisa said,

    I get them in my inbox now and then – we language people…:-)

  3. Paul W Dixon said,

    Hi Alisa, what an interesting blog you have!
    I have one for you:
    “A: How high is a Chinaman?
    B: Yes, I know.”

    Please feel free to visit my blog at http://www.paul-translator.blogspot.com

    Saudações do Brasil, PAUL

  4. אליסה said,

    Nah, these Chinese jokes although funny, are not really puns as commonly understood:-)

    Saw your blog – very interesting, I’ll come for more.

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